The snow we've been getting in DC has been crazy.  Over 2 feet and now they're calling for another 10-12 nches!  So what do you do when you continually get snowed in with limited resources and little much else to do than watch reality shows and old movies? Well once you've cooked all the meals you can with whatever's in your cupboard, you gotta think up something more creative to keep you sane and busy.  What did they do before Facebook, Dish network, and video games?  Sitting around the fireplace, drinking Splenda-infused hot chocolate, and singing Kumbaya is one option. A movie marathon is another.  Who doesn't love Back to the Future I, II,and III?  Plus I find something new everytime I watch them.  Winter cleaning is always a productive solution to imminent hibernation, and I do need a serious wardrobe downsizing.  The neighbors have already ripped off the lid of their garbage cans to sled down the snow berms, or accumulated snow left from snow plow removal.  That's an option.  Hmmm, maybe I do have plenty of things to keep me busy.  All I really need, then, is a bag of ice salt to prevent a repeat of Sunday's chiropractic icecapade on my front entrance.  Happy Hibernation!

As I made my way down the streets of downtown DC, something particularly odd struck me. 

And yet when I looked closer, it wasn't odd at all, but actually very normal and very common. 

It would actually be odd if I didn't see what I saw.  But twenty years ago I wouldn't have seen what I saw. 

And what I saw were massive amounts of people strolling down beautiful boulevards, in perfect weather, hypnotized by a numbing infatuation with technology.

Yes, I am talking about the cell phone.  The magical, addictive world of constant communication; who can resisit?  In this decade it has now become completely normal to talk to yourself as you drive your car,  walk down the street, or walk your dog, to the delight or fright of some unexpecting onlookers.  It's become part of life, and it doesn't seem to be going away any time soon.

But it becomes quite humorous when on the same intersection I see pedestrians in all four corners of the crosswalk buzzing away on their cell phones, completely oblivious to their surrroundings, onlookers, and even moving vehicles.  I am not one to criticize of course because i have been victim to the emergency phone call about which red dress to buy for the Friday night outing, as I'm walking my dog through a busy intersection.  And yes, this usually turns into the cell phone becoming glued to my ear for the rest of walk, degrading my dog's exercise break to a hurried jog so as to get back home and check my facebook page. So, I am the last one to talk.

But the reason I am talking and bringing up this issue is to address the reason why we have to keep our phones glued to our ears, particularly when we are alone.  Is it easier to avoid eye contact, interaction, and awkwardeness if we look too busy to engage with other people due to a phone call.  It seems more and more the case to me.  We  sometimes use our technology as an excuse to avoid human interaction, and this very well could be completely subconcious so we don't know we're doing it.  Maybe my absentmindedness comes in handy here as many times as I've forgotten my phone at home, only to be forced to make it through the day without my umblical cord.  

BEFORE GOOGLE:

 AFTER GOOGLE:

Each day as I sit and work on researching and writing my reports at work, I find myself unpredictably gravatating towards that magical realm we call "The Google".  Space and time ceases to exist in this fantastical world where dreams come true and we all are virtually endowed with a temporary advanced degree.   Many studies have been done as to the effect of this type of superficial learning apparatus.  Does this tool push our society to the brink of epistemical paralysis or is it a natural progression in our intellectual evolution?

Because what is The Google good for anyway? 

How is gum made?   Why do birds sing?  What does E=MC² equal?   No question or request, trite or silly,  complex or intricate, can angry or repel the great Google.    Nothing beyond its grasp and so unforgiving in its scrutiny of us, but so bountiful are its fruits.  For we have become an even greater and more superior being due to the powers it so kindly bestowed upon us.  Those days of yesteryear, where embarassing pauses lingered after a series of trivial facts spewed out of a know-it-all collegue's mouth have now been replaced with instant knowledge of inconsequential details at the tips of our fingertips.  Who needs Harvard when we have now officially become graduates of The School of Google?   Congratulations fellow Googlians.  

Could the city of Paris sue Paris Hilton for sustained damages to it's image?

If you combine the amount of money in the bank accounts of the CEOs of the companies that are in need of a bailout, could they bail themselves out?

Why is Facebook called by that name?  MySpace I get, but a book of face?

I still have absolutely no idea how a single shoe ends up on the median of highway.  It hurts my brain to think about it.

If President Obama is a former professor, does that mean that the current economic crisis is our first test?  We obviously didn't study. 

How many celebrities are in the US?  I have always wondered about the exact number because they keep popping up from every possible angle.  I don't even know how I keep track of the hundreds I already know of.   But I was watching some show on the lifestyles of the disgustingly rich and unnecessarily famous and I got to thinking, what the hell are these people doing while thousands upon thousands are being laid off with absolutely no reassurance so that they are left to burn their houses down to collect on insurance (drove past a fancy, burnt down, cookie cutter house on my way to work today and thought, really? when was the last time a house randomly burnt down in a nice neighborhood? I'm just saying.) 

So instead of the already strained government reaching into their lint-filled pockets, why not get every celebrity to give, let's say, $1 million dollars each (assuming they have atleast 20 mill in their bank accounts) count it as charity, give them a tax break, and then shoot a movie about it.  I'd guess there's atleast 1000 celebrities, so do the math and there's our economic stimulus package right there.  It's redistributing the wealth without the messiness of communism.  Celebrities can keep their lifestyle while also helping to reinstate that of others.  And we can finally and truthfully tell Ann Curry that we used Angelina's money to raise an army for national security [insert additional octuplet jokes here.]

picture courtesy of pastorronmiller.blogspot.com and semi-vegan-in-dystopia.blogspot.com and media.southparkstudios.com

Which is more important? Making the Olympic Team in your sport, winning an Olympic medal, or just finishing the freaking race without a hitch?

It's been months since the Beijing Olympics, which were overshadowed by swimming paraphenalia and pre-pubescent tumblers.  But did anyone ever stop to think about the US Track Team?  What the hurdle happened to them?  Seriously.  I hate to say it, but they dropped out like jacked up flies from a zapper.  Our once strong and proud team seemed to silently disappear behind the eight gold medals of a now quite interesting character (that's for another day).

And maybe I was extra disappointed due to my own unreluctant fling with track.  Hurdles to be exact.   And I'm short, so to see the look in the skeptics' faces as I soared over the men's hurdles was delightful.  Plus, I still have fantasies to make it into the Olympics, even if I passed my prime at the ripe old age of 19.  But I will even if it's in the "jump the hurdles to get to the shoes" event.

So I bring this up because of an article that popped up today in the Times, describing the release of a report by a committee looking to reduce the influence of agents and shoe sponsors.    

Back up just a little.  I know athletes get paid well;  really, really, well.  But sponsors making career decisions for the athletes is just beyond me.  Again, I hate to say this, but go play basketball.  Track and field is a sport that develops out of a passion and a gift.  Not a paycheck and a brand.  Now, I'm sure many professional basketball and football players are in it for the love, but how many can actually resist the lure of big money and major connections? 

I just hope that the suspicious actions highlighted in the report are a recent phenomenon; because if I had been coached the way these athletes seemed to have been, I wouldn't have developed the awe and respect for a sport that I still yearn to go back to one day.  

So maybe these Olympics were a wake-up call on many levels.  Many, many, many levels. 

Oh, how innocent we once were.

Here's the perfect excuse to play with your food.  You're doing it for arts sake. 

From annathered.wordpress.com, check out this craziness:

Check out more pictures and how to do it yourself at http://www.flickr.com/photos/annathered/ 

A list of 2008's best triumphs and worst fails.... (FYI - the links with the icons preceding them can just be scrolled over to see what's underneath)

2008 TRIUMPHS

• African Americans - Barack Obama's win helps to immediately better the perceptions of African Americans in people's minds, especially because the image of the president is usually a strong and positive leadership position.
  

•  Organic anything - the green movement doesn't seem to be slowing down anytime soon.

•  The Twitter Community  - although not quite as pervasive as Facebook, I'm impressed with the speed and influence of the Twitter community. Kudos!

• Top Ten Lists of everything and anything you can think of. Seriously, we love top ten lists.

• Writers - technically the writer's strike was deemed successful until another lawsuit was filed in November. Maybe this is a toss-up then.

• Racism - I think most would agree that the election of the first black president helps us to begin pushing racial stereotypes over the cliff.

• Britney - All I have to say is, wow, I would have never seen a return like this a year ago.   She's like a one-woman Roman empire.  Disregard that ending though, or maybe............

• Dubai - As Busta Rhymes claims in his new, albeit, controversial song, "We getting Ay-rab money!"  This place is the new Las Vegas.
  

• Swimming  -  Everyone wants to be an Olympian now.

• Tina Fey - She is on fire!  You gotta love her regardless of your political views.  She represents that quirky, slighty nerdy, girl next door in all of us.  And yes she has transformed into a glorious swan from her former awkward and heavier 80's hair days, but that's the beauty of it.  It gives everyone who doesn't look like Angelina Jolie hope. 

• SNL - After Will Ferrell  and Cheri Oteri left, I pretty much forgot what late Saturday nights were for. Then Tina Fey shows up and now my dvr is set to record every episode.  Should this praise really be directed at Miss Wasilla?
  

• This phrase - Come on. We've heard it so many times that we can't say the phrase anymore without an attempt at a Fred Armisen impersonation of Barack Obama.

• This word - Oh yeah. Say it with me:

  via the NYTimes.

• This video - Please take to time to watch this lecture.  It's beautiful, poignant, and one of the most spot-on narratives of the human conditions I've heard.
  

• Shoes - I love shoes. Obviously more than this guy cuz you could never get my pair flying across the room.

2008 FAILS

• Racism - You didn't think I was actually saying that racism is dead, did you? Oh no, we have a looooong way to go.  Don't you just love us humans?

• The Economy - no comment.

• Private Jets - Like I said, old white men can't fly.

• The Earth - Poor earth. It keeps turning for us and we try to do everything to push it off it's balance.

• The Republicans - Sorry guys. It wasn't your year.

• Pigs, Moose and Turkeys - They always seem to be at the short-end of the stick, but this year they got the royal treatment.
  

• Holiday shopping - Maybe it's good that we've reigned in our spending and given the big, bad corporations a break.

• Plumbers - Say it ain't so Joe.

• Selling poltical offices to the highest bidder - This just doesn't seem to work like in the olden days.

• Televised  interviews - I can't decide if I enjoyed the real or fake interview better.
  

•  Pastors - Not since the Salem Witch Trials have our religious leaders held such sway over the population.

• Nutcrackers - I don't mean the ballet.  I'm talking about the one that got away from the presidency.

• Old White Men - God bless em, but they sure do screw up a lot.

• This phrase - For some reason, U. S. of A-ers seem to be getting a bad rap when it comes to geography.
  

• This word - for all of you playing a drinking game:

  via NYTimes.

• This video - I mean watching the video now I think wow, we gave her a lot of hell.  But I guess it was kinda cheesy. Especially when that little girl in the video came out for Obama.
  

Here are some interesting links that have kept me amused.....

- - The cutest synchronized puppies.  I thought only my dogs did this but it looks like the raised inflection in our voices creates the same effect in all dogs.  Observe the cuteness.

- - Ever wanted to learn a language wthout leaving the house or emptying your wallet.  I found this site very helpful with step-by-step audio and text for almost any language. Vayámonos!

- - Please don't let me ever fall into this marketing hole.

- - How many countries can you name in 5 minutes?  I got 65/195.  Harder than you would think when the pressure is on.

- - Finally my life-time wish for temperature-controlled sand at the beach has come true!  Via Dubai of course.  Excessiveness is a way of life.  What can't they do there? 

-- When you think of Cleopatra, what image comes to mind?  Elizabeth Taylor?  Me too, although maybe a little more ethnic.  Well, now a certified Egyptologist (yes, they do exist) has recreated Cleopatra's face from images of ancient artefacts using computer regeneration technology.  I can't figure out who the likeness reminds me of but I do see a slight if any resemblance to the Obamas, no?

- - Ever had the desire to stay in a large, floating orange pod on your holiday vacation?  Or how about that lovely recycled concrete sewage pipe with lovely interior?  Well, stress no more, because those are just two of the ten weirdest hotels you can stay in to seperate yourself from the confines of the consumerist, tourist bunch.  


- - And a new favorite pastime of mine?  Watching other people fail at the FAIL Blog.  Tragic and magical at the same time.  Isn't it sad when a website is dedicated to other people's failures and immensely popular?  Maybe it helps to validate our existence and acknowledge our own countless failures.  Nah!  We just like to see trucks stupidly smash into poles.  That's funny!

My brother's favorite show at the moment is a British car show called "Top Gear".    Every once in a while I'll join him to watch the three funny gentlemen discuss the latest car crazes, most of which is beyond me.  But atleast it's funny and entertains me for a short time before hitting the hay.

The other day, the show focused in on the three gentlemen taking a trip over to America to see if they could survive a few days trekking across the southern states in crappy cars (this is an old episode but what can I say, I'm late for everything).  So they purchased their barely-held together vehicles for under $1000 and began their journey.

 The episode weaves in and out of a storyline focused on British humor and the longetivity of older American cars. But the story took an unexpected twist when the men decided to push their limits and paint offensive remarks all over their cars.   I'm talking about straight out insults for people of the more isolated regions of the South, like "Country Western Sucks" and "Man Love Rules".  It was quite funny at first, seeing them get stared down on the highway.  Not too comfortable, but safe.  However, when they stopped at a little country gas station, the full-out Southern fury I've heard about came gushing forth.  The inhabitants of the little country gas station that day were not too open-minded when it came to different lifestyles or opinions.  Although the comments were slightly forced upon them by the blatantly painted car, it was still quite interesting to see the outright hatred and misunderstanding confronting the well-dressed, British gentlemen. 

To make a long story short, they fled the scene before a truckload of big, burly men kicked their behinds, making for quite entertaining television; on the other hand, it also made for quite disturbing stereotypes of the deep South.

So I started thinking, why is the Bible Belt the way it is?  Is it only because of the religious fervor that seems to accompany almost every individual?  Or can we blame their way of life on isolation (the country vs. the city)?   Another good reason may be their less stressful lives, thereby warranting more time to focus on every little detail including their religion.  I think another perfectly legitmate argument would be that the episode seems to unfairly portray the American South, since any city would take offense to certain ideas/comments brightly painted on a car (try driving through Pittsburgh with "the Steelers suck" painted on your car door.)

So in particular avoid painting any sort of offensive remarks on your car when traveling to the southern neck of the U. S. of A.  Why you would paint on your car in the first place for any reason other than a wedding/graduation celebration or British car show is again beyond me.