The Celebrity Economic Bailout

How many celebrities are in the US?  I have always wondered about the exact number because they keep popping up from every possible angle.  I don't even know how I keep track of the hundreds I already know of.   But I was watching some show on the lifestyles of the disgustingly rich and unnecessarily famous and I got to thinking, what the hell are these people doing while thousands upon thousands are being laid off with absolutely no reassurance so that they are left to burn their houses down to collect on insurance (drove past a fancy, burnt down, cookie cutter house on my way to work today and thought, really? when was the last time a house randomly burnt down in a nice neighborhood? I'm just saying.) 

So instead of the already strained government reaching into their lint-filled pockets, why not get every celebrity to give, let's say, $1 million dollars each (assuming they have atleast 20 mill in their bank accounts) count it as charity, give them a tax break, and then shoot a movie about it.  I'd guess there's atleast 1000 celebrities, so do the math and there's our economic stimulus package right there.  It's redistributing the wealth without the messiness of communism.  Celebrities can keep their lifestyle while also helping to reinstate that of others.  And we can finally and truthfully tell Ann Curry that we used Angelina's money to raise an army for national security [insert additional octuplet jokes here.]

picture courtesy of pastorronmiller.blogspot.com and semi-vegan-in-dystopia.blogspot.com and media.southparkstudios.com