I have neglected this blog. But with good reason. I was engaged, married, pregnant, and now a mother to a bustling toddler that I can't see my life without. My last post reflected on the past and embracing our experiences that make us who we are. And now I realize that my path led me exactly to where I'm supposed to be, where I want to be. If anything had been different, I wouldn't have exactly what I have now or be exactly where I am. I couldn't imagine it any other way, even on the worst days, which yes, I still have. So here's to the present. To the good days, the bad days, and the normal days in between.

Tags: personal, observations, updates, children

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Some days I feel lucky to have had the experiences I have and other times I find myself thinking "what if I had done this" or "if only I had been here, things would be different" or "if I hadn't done that, life would be easier," etc. etc. Difficult moments come and go and life is definitely a rollercoaster of emotions and crises, but what if we changed our attitude and looked at our journey as our own unique history, a personally-directed life movie. Why not embrace this beautiful uniqueness that makes us exactly who we are and in the process richer, stronger, and ever more resilient? Why not embrace our distinct timeline of wrong decisions, tough stages, and altering experiences. These are just plot twists on our journey, regardless of how much better it could have been or should have been. We are exactly where we are supposed to be. And I'm ok with that. Actually I'm happy with that. And it took me a long time to get to this point. Let's see how I feel tomorrow though.

Tags: personal, observations, revelations

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This holiday season let's begin celebrating each other's holidays.  Why do we have to choose just one?  As a child of Lebanse origin, I cherished every holiday, those of my friends and my own, and felt lucky that I had the opportunity to experience and celebrate all of them.  I hope to one day let my children understand the beauty and meaning of all the holidays of the world, and give them a taste of each by bringing it into my home. 

 

Happy Chriskwanzukkaheid everyone!

Tags: culture, holidays, personal

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Every night I pray for the knowledge and strength to be able to tell the right decisions from the wrong.  We are bombarded with so many opportunities, and we don't even know it half the time.  We have to figure what path to take, which door to walk through, and what people to network with.  But how do you know.  Do we use instinct, logic, or is it just plain old luck?  Maybe all three.  It's scary to think that you might make the wrong decision, but maybe that's just life.   You gotta take as many opportunities as you can because you never know when one of them might change your life.  Just don't waste all your money on the lottery.

        

Tags: observations, personal, thoughts

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Sometimes you push something away because you love it too much to keep it close to you.  And as we go through life we think that'd we'd get better at doing this, but it only gets harder, and we become more stubborn and doubtful, making excuses along the way until weve gotten so far that you can't recognize what you started out with.  But then we awake from a numbing slumber to realize that where we are isn't actually where we originally thought we would be.  So we push away the fear, the sadness, and we do what we know is right, what is better for us and what is better for what we push away.  And even though it's a terrible feeling, a feeling so strong that you begin to doubt the decision that you had struggled to make, you push yourself through the melancholy fog and hope to break through to the other side.

 

Or maybe I made the wrong decision.

 

Crap.

Tags: personal, thoughts

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Thanks to Webon (my lovely blogging platform) for featuring me on this week's featured sites!  I've been telling all my virtual and real friends about this great site since I started blogging a few months ago.  So this will definitely give them a boost in my weekly advertising schpeel :)  Plus, they're on Twitter, and anyone on Twitter is automatically cool and in touch.  Keep up the good work Webon!

Tags: personal, thanks, webon

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That melancholy feeling of winter's forward treck on starts to creep over me around this time.  Don't get me wrong. I love the snow and the bite of the crisp, cool air.   But there's no snow!  And that bite of cool air has turned into a devouring of my extremities.  Sigh, atleast this weekend brings the expected delight of a new beginning, a fresh start.  No, I'm not talking about the President!  It's supposed to snow, and I wanted to go skiing on that fresh layer of powder......

 

Happy Skiing

Tags: environment, passions, personal, petpeeves

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Just recently came upon the film "The Celestine Prophecy" and was surprised after watching it that I hadn't seen or heard anything about the movie or the book before.  It was pretty good, if you're into the whole new age/spiritual journey genre, which I usually overlook.  I always like movies that get you thinking about things in a different perspective, even if it's not in your original line of thinking.  Although I haven't read the book, the movie (and the insights) attempted to link psychology, religion, sociology, and philosophy to explain the human condition and the meaning of life.  It's seems simplistic, but it's enjoyable to follow and try to twist your mind around the insights.  It also tends to satisfy almost any opinion by attempting to avoid a single perspective, religion, or philosophy.

Anyways, it got me thinking about the things that I'm passionate about, particularly the psychology of the mind, and why people are the way they are.  Why are there so many perspectives but so little patience?  Why is there so much fighting with so much in common?   Why do we hate each other when we love the same things?  Can't there be a middle ground?  Is it that hard to look into ourselves and see in others what we know in our hearts?  But then I think about myself, and how easy it is for my mind to get distracted with the little things.  Seriously.  Stuff that I would have never thought I would fret over when I was in my teens.  It's so easy to become numb; lose ourselves in the mindless hum of the everyday mundane.  Then we forget ourselves, forget our core.  The passions that dizzied our minds when we had endless time to sit and think about what it would be like to be grown up.  No wonder kids glow and buzz and daydream and laugh.   When we get those same impulses, we fight it or attempt to hide them from our "adult" peers.

 

It's becoming harder to find an excuse to focus on ourselves, heal our hearts, and nurture our minds.  We slowly let our heart's cries for freedom get lost in the buzz of traffic.  Our intuitive nature gives way to our doubting thoughts.  And if we let it, the routine drums of our everyday lives drown out our purpose, our passions, and our patience. 

 

So, maybe the movie came at the right time (exactly as it would have you believe in the movie I might add).  

Tags: personal, psychology, religion, sociology

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If I could go back for one day.....

 

I'd tell my best friend that I appreciated her befriending me as a new student in the third grade three days before she unexpectedely died of an unknown brain tumor.  ( I had a debate with my brother over why I didn't go back to tell her she has a brain tumor.  But I'm trying to choose things that don't throw off the space-time continuum.  Or maybe I should just go back to six months before and tell her mom, but that would be weird)

 

I'd tell those girls on the bus to get a life...the same girls who later became my friends but I never stood up to.

 

I wouldn't have been embarassed to tell my fifth grade teacher that I couldn't see the board because I needed glasses (she had to inform my parents that I was squinting and my work was slacking)

 

I would walk through my junior high school with my head raised up and not give those preppy girls a reason to think they're any cooler than me.

 

I would take that troubled girl under my wings instead of secretly thinking that she was lying or actually more confident than she ended up being.

 

I would just breath and run to the finish line with no fear.

 

I would talk back to that annoyingly mean girl in high school much earlier than I did, saving myself and countless others a lot of headaches.

 

I'd then give that racist teacher a piece of my mind after I turned in my final exam.

 

I would save people.  

 

I would pet my childhood cat, hug and kiss him one last time.

 

I would say no.

 

I would say yes.

 

I would say get lost.

 

I would write down my grandfather's story.

 

I'd tell myself to not think too much.  Sometimes it's better to just act.

 

I'd tell myself not to jump to conclusions.  Sometimes it's better to just breath.

 

Maybe it's wrong to wish to go back and change things.  But maybe thinking of what we would have done with what we know now, can tell us to apply those same principles to the present.  I'm going to smile and talk more.  Be more generous without thinking.  Speak my feelings when they bubble up but hold back criticisms when they're better off unsaid. 

 

I asked my brother this same question......he said he would take the $200 million winning lottery numbers and give it to himself a week ago.   Maybe men think differently then us.

 

 

Tags: ideas, personal, psychology

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I realized today how much I've been increasing my organic intake now that there's a Whole Foods conveniently located down the street.   Atleast once a week I stop by to pick up some fresh organic juices, or sample the delicious array of cheeses and breads.  And then my conscience kicks in and I begin to think about how smart my decisions to pay so much more for supposedly healthier items are.

                                                                                            

With all the rumors swirling around about the potential benefits of switching to organic, I can't seem to make up my mind of how far to go down the rabbit hole.  I at least try to avoid the dirty dozen of produce and Iike to buy my milk organic, though the label says that it's no different than regular milk.

 

So it's very possible that my purchases just help me get closer to attaining the ideal health/fitness lifestyle I strive for, though I've got a long way to actually reach my perception of ideal.  It's also quite likely helping the illusion of health we all like to wrap ourselves in to sleep better at night knowing full well that we can't stop the pollution we're breathing or the chemicals we're exposed to (atleast not fast enough to age gracefully in our adulthood.)

 

After those fleeting thoughts, I then turn to the assumption that somehow my expensive organic shopping is helping the environment, local farmers, or animals in some way.  But again those pesky rumors surface claiming many of the same methods or problems exist.  The debate rages on and there seems to be no clear-cut answer, especially depending on who you ask.

 

So it's quite possible that it may all just be a clever marketing ploy by the big boy companies that have duped me once again (Damn you Crystal Pepsi!)

 

Just please don't make organic pancakes in a can!

 

 Oh wait...... 

 

 

Tags: environment, exercise, green, health, lifestyle, personal

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