Could the city of Paris sue Paris Hilton for sustained damages to it's image?

If you combine the amount of money in the bank accounts of the CEOs of the companies that are in need of a bailout, could they bail themselves out?

Why is Facebook called by that name?  MySpace I get, but a book of face?

I still have absolutely no idea how a single shoe ends up on the median of highway.  It hurts my brain to think about it.

If President Obama is a former professor, does that mean that the current economic crisis is our first test?  We obviously didn't study. 

How many celebrities are in the US?  I have always wondered about the exact number because they keep popping up from every possible angle.  I don't even know how I keep track of the hundreds I already know of.   But I was watching some show on the lifestyles of the disgustingly rich and unnecessarily famous and I got to thinking, what the hell are these people doing while thousands upon thousands are being laid off with absolutely no reassurance so that they are left to burn their houses down to collect on insurance (drove past a fancy, burnt down, cookie cutter house on my way to work today and thought, really? when was the last time a house randomly burnt down in a nice neighborhood? I'm just saying.) 

So instead of the already strained government reaching into their lint-filled pockets, why not get every celebrity to give, let's say, $1 million dollars each (assuming they have atleast 20 mill in their bank accounts) count it as charity, give them a tax break, and then shoot a movie about it.  I'd guess there's atleast 1000 celebrities, so do the math and there's our economic stimulus package right there.  It's redistributing the wealth without the messiness of communism.  Celebrities can keep their lifestyle while also helping to reinstate that of others.  And we can finally and truthfully tell Ann Curry that we used Angelina's money to raise an army for national security [insert additional octuplet jokes here.]

picture courtesy of pastorronmiller.blogspot.com and semi-vegan-in-dystopia.blogspot.com and media.southparkstudios.com

Forget Hillary Clinton! 

I believe these seven unrealized candidates could take this position fourth in line from the presidency and rock it!

1.  Oprah - Who hasn't thought of Oprah joining the Obama administration? She's a great communicator and therapist, and with the money she's rollin' in could single-handedly rebuild Iraq.

2.  Beyonce - A diva with both beauty and brains. I'm sorry but a lady like this can seriously conquer.

3.  Britney Spears - You may laugh now, but who better to pull us out of the gutter by resconstucting the damaged image of America?

4.  Tie between Angelina Jolie and Madonna - Both are world-renowned, invariably civic-minded, and their excellent international connections on almost every continent wouldn't hurt either.

5.  Arnold Shwarzenegger -  I'd only recommend fear as a last resort, but the terminating image he's built around the globe may do wonders for our national security situation. 

6.  Sarah Palin - Awwww, yes, I said it.  Why?  What better way to confuse the terrorists than with a constant stream of jumbling reiterations.   No offense to the governor, though.  She's hot and so could easily distract the bad guys as we slip past and bring democracy.  Plus, she's already friendly with that French dude.

7. And of course, Stephen Colbert - His uncanny ability to work both sides of the ideological spectrum could finally help bring our bipartisan country together.

Or he could just flip off the world leaders who piss him off.

Who'd you pick?